How deep is your love?

My family always thinks that Jerk and I are still together, and I’m tired of explaining. Can’t blame them. Sometimes I’m a lil confused too; by the way he treats me. I believe Jerk loves me. I really do. Call me stupid, call me naïve, -yes, yes, maybe I mean nothing to him anymore- but I honestly feel that he does (despite constantly reminding myself that he doesn’t) He loves me. He loves me more than a normal friend does. Just that he doesn’t love me enough to make me his girlfriend (again). He doesn’t love me enough to stop hurting me. Yeah, already enough reasons for me to kick him out of my life right? Obviously I didn’t. I didn’t because I love him too much. I love him more than I should. But not enough for me to let go. My friend once told me that if you love someone deeply, you’d be happy just by knowing that he is. I guess I’m not there yet. Because it hurts me, knowing that he’s with someone else. I guess he loves the girl, I mean his girlfriend, a lot too. But his love for her isn’t enough to stop him from still having me floating in his head. It isn’t enough to stop him to come looking for me. Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe not. Whatever it is, I know I should move on. Enough of being confused over what’s in his mind. It doesn’t matter anymore. So what if he still cares about me? So what if he still have me in his heart? I should very well know that I’m not his girlfriend anymore, someone else is. I should also know that he will never learn to appreciate me, because I’m ALWAYS here when he needs me. I don’t deserve to be treated like this, I know that. But I’m still not strong enough to leave everything behind. Friends are disappointed, as I’m not half as strong as I used to be. I guess Jerk is right. I don’t love myself (he said that when he knew I got drunk outside). I don’t love myself enough to protect myself from getting hurt. I don’t know how to explain why I feel he’s still in love with me. As I said, I may be wrong, but I know him very, very well, and sometimes there are many things that I know, without him telling me. In this case, he made me feel that he loves me, but not much. Again, I’m not confident (simply because I have 0 confidence), and it doesn’t make any difference (anymore). He belongs to someone else now. So there you go. That proves that my brain is still functioning. I’m still able to think logic. I just need more strength for me to stand up. Let us just be good/best friends...like the way we used to be before falling in love.